I’ve never possessed a green thumb. I don’t even like being outdoors unless I’m tanning (and there’s no bugs). However, this is the first summer I’ve been solely responsible for the yard work. Prior to this year, my former spouse and I would pay someone to come mow the lawn, pick up doggy doo, spray weeds, etc. My income alone doesn’t support that type of luxury. And that’s ok! For the most part, I seem to have been keeping on top of it. With the help of a wonderful neighbor who got my lawn mower working, I’ve been able to keep the lawn mowed, the doggy doo picked up, and I even figured out how to use the whipper snipper without being scared of it. Win!
But there’s one area of yardwork that I have not been able to keep on top of. Weeds. I paid someone to come and do some weed treatments to the front lawn this summer, which I don’t regret, but the back yard? *shudder*
I’ve been spending a lot of time on my back deck this summer and I’ve been watching them grow. Taller. Bigger. Deeper. Uglier. And I became overwhelmed by them. Apparently, glaring and scowling at weeds doesn’t make them go away. Although, I gave it a valiant effort.
No. Weeds don’t just go away. In fact, if they aren’t dealt with, they will only grow, and eventually, they will take over everything that was once beautiful.
Yesterday, I finally couldn’t stand the sight of the field of weeds that had grown all around the rock edges of my home and all throughout the gravel areas of my back yard. So, in my bikini (because…tanning), I donned my work gloves, grabbed a garbage can, and I set to work. Starting in one area, moving slowly, I pulled weeds. One. by. One. Ensuring the root came up with each one.
Throughout the hours I spent pulling weeds, I had a few thoughts running through my mind. I believe that the Lord used my weed pulling frustration to teach me some valuable lessons about the weeds that have sprouted in my own life. So here goes:
1. Weeds are ugly and they take over everything beautiful very quickly – if they aren’t dealt with. There have been numerous weeds that have grown in my life. Some of them have taken over other parts of my life. Parts that used to be beautiful. Like the part where I used to love Jesus more than anything else in this world. Doubt, hurt, fear, and lack of trust are weeds that have tried to destroy this part of me. This is just one small example.
2. The more you let weeds grow, they become bigger, thornier, and deeper-rooted. These weeds are more difficult to get rid of. They cause pain when you try to remove them. They want to hold on. The more I’ve chosen to ignore the promptings, reminders, and convictions of the Holy Spirit, the more certain sins have grown. Sins that I’ve become attached to. These sins are difficult to say no to. Even though they cause only pain in my life, they are also painful to uproot.
3. Weeds pop up easily. They don’t require a lot of water or sunshine. They’ll grow wherever they see an opportunity. If we truly want weeds gone, we can’t just wait until we see evidence of them. We have to do preventative maintenance as well. (*Ahem* Round-up *Ahem*) If I am not spending time with the Lord on a regular basis, spending time in His presence, reading His Word, it is easy to live the way that seems most natural to me. With selfish intention and ambition, focusing on what makes me feel good and happy…even if it is only for a moment. If we surround ourselves only with people who don’t share our faith, it’s easy to forget our faith. Regular maintenance is required if we want to keep weeds from growing in our lives. Perhaps a daily invitation is necessary; asking the Lord, as David did. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” – Psalm 139: 23-24
4. Removing weeds will be painful and it requires a certain posture. Rejecting sin, sin we hold on to, afraid to let it go, isn’t easy. There are reasons we cling to sin. It makes us feel better for a time. It helps us feel like we have a purpose in life. It makes us feel validated. It allows us to feel accepted by certain people. It’s part of our identity. The thing with sin though? It’s deceptive. So deceptive, that we struggle to say no to it. We might even think we have it under control. We can even trick ourselves into believing that we aren’t hurting anybody but ourselves. But in the end, all it really does, is grow. Taller. Bigger. Deeper. Uglier. Until…it eventually has spread and takes over the other beautiful things in our lives.
After a couple of hours of pulling weeds, I also couldn’t help but notice that it would be impossible to pull them out by their roots, without bending low. Whether it was in a squat, a full bow, or on my knees, I had to get low to the ground to do it. And I don’t think it’s any coincidence that when we stop glaring at the weeds in our lives and choose to uproot them, we also must adopt a similar posture. Bowing low, kneeling. Surrendering. It will be impossible to uproot weeds of sin in our lives without first surrendering our will and wants to Jesus. When we bow down, we acknowledge that uprooting sin will be painful, but we also acknowledge His Lordship in our lives. And it might take some time to examine the weeds. It might take some time to get to the place where we can’t tolerate them anymore. It might take some time to recognize why we feel the need to cling to them so tightly. It might take some time to uproot them. But as I slowly stood back upright, stretching out and willing the muscles in my back to stop hurting, I surveyed the rocky areas around my home. And I smiled. It was hard work. But it was worth it. What once was beautiful, overcome by weeds, was made beautiful again. Also, Round-up has become my new best friend.
There will likely be a time in our Christian journeys when, like Jacob, we will wrestle with God all night long…But there must eventually come a dawn when we say, “Ok, God, You win…Not my will but Thine be done.” – Gary Thomas
There is a simple black and white canvas in a frame that hangs on my dining room wall that states: “Live with eternity in mind.” There is a Bible that sits in my basement beside my prayer chair. There is a playlist of worship music on my phone. There is a group of people I have memorized Scripture with. There is a women’s ministry that I used to write for. There have been convictional reminders to me in small ways, here and there. All of these things, over the past few months, I have ignored…or at the very least…distanced myself from. Someone mentioned to me awhile ago that I haven’t updated my blog lately. My response? “I write about a specific topic and theme. That theme has not been the theme of my life lately. I will not be hypocritical.”
A lot has happened in my life since last Fall, when I last wrote about my desire to trust Jesus in this crazy season. The short version: I stopped trusting.
Choosing to not trust Jesus wasn’t something I just woke up and decided to do one day. In fact, I remember very sleepless nights, agonizing over whether I really could and should trust Him anymore. After all, I had trusted Him. My whole life. And where did it get me? Divorced. Reduced from a full-time mom to a part-time one. Having to work three jobs to afford to live – even with alimony and child support. Alone.
I knew that in my marriage, I was lonely. I had accepted the fact that my marriage would never be what I hoped it could be. Healthy. Affectionate. Devoted. Loving. But I had made my vows and I was faithful to the end. It wasn’t until a few months after my marriage was over that I was offered something I didn’t even know I had longed for. Craved even. Affection. I’ve come to recognize that I have felt starved of physical affection for most of my adult life. I think, as a defense mechanism, I acted as one who didn’t want it, didn’t care for it. Because it’s easier to pretend we don’t care about something than to want it so desperately, and never receive it, isn’t it? So, when it was offered, I willingly accepted it.
It wasn’t an easy decision. I knew it meant distancing myself from God – because, in essence, it was disobedience. And it’s impossible to live contrary to God’s rules and still remain close to Him. So I distanced myself from Him in an effort to relieve the immense loneliness I came to understand I was feeling. And it worked…temporarily.
This decision didn’t just come from a place of loneliness though. It also came from a place of significant fear. Fear of remaining in this lonely existence forever. Fear of the idea of marriage again one day. Fear of becoming entrapped yet again in an unhealthy relationship. So what do you do when, as a Christian, you don’t want to be alone, but you also don’t ever want to get married again? There’s only two logical answers that I could see. 1. You accept and live a life of celibacy and singleness. Or. 2. You form relationships with people that also don’t seem to care much about marriage. I chose option 2. Because of my deep loneliness. And I’m not talking about the kind of loneliness where spending time with a good friend can help. I craved human affection and love. Desperately. A simple touch on the arm, yes. A hug, yes. A passionate kiss, yes. But mostly: A place where I felt loved. Wanted. Desired. Fully known and accepted. At any cost.
Knowing it would ruin any reputation I had built, knowing it would create distance between me and the God I claimed to love, knowing my behavior could negatively affect my children (although, they were not informed of the details), knowing it would cost me my self-respect, knowing that in the end, it would only bring me grief, I chose to live in the moment and appreciate the affection and care that was offered. Knowing it was wrong; I tried not to care.
But…when your faith means more to you than you think it does, you are left with no choice but to care. Over these past few months, every couple of weeks, I would listen to the following song, and I would try and tell myself that its words were true.
“My God is all I need.” I would repeat these words over and over, knowing they were true, yet, I still couldn’t force myself to believe them. The past few months became a battle ground in my mind between ignoring the convictions of the Holy Spirit and letting myself experience what I had longed for, for so many years. But eventually, conviction won out, along with the prayers of some amazing friends and family members. Because even though I was living my life one way – it was not true to who I really was. And I could not keep living in such a dichotomy.
“If any of you wants to be my follower,” he told them, “you must put aside your own pleasures and shoulder your cross, and follow me closely. If you insist on saving your life, you will lose it. Only those who throw away their lives for my sake and for the sake of the Good News will ever know what it means to really live.” – Mark 8:34-35
The truth of the matter is this: living for our own pleasure provides temporary relief from our pain. But it never lasts. It might make us happy for a time. But in the end, there is only grief. True and lasting joy cannot be found apart from Jesus. I know that now. And when that becomes your belief, you have but only one option left: complete and total surrender. And that can be a very scary thing to do. “But God, I trusted you! I followed You and I obeyed You! And THIS is my life?! Why would You ask me to trust You again? HOW could You ask me to trust You again?” The thought of getting married again is terrifying to me – for numerous reasons. Yet, the thought of spending the rest of my life in this deep loneliness also seems unbearable. But it’s not about me. It’s about Him.
Romans 12:1 says “I urge you…in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices…this is your reasonable act of worship.”
“The Greek word translated “reasonable” is the word logikos. In light of the incredible mercy of God poured out on us (past, present, and future mercies), a full and complete sacrifice of our lives is the only logical response we can make.”1
Currently, it’s Easter weekend, and I can’t help but think on Christ’s perfect example of surrender to His Father. It was total and complete. He willingly surrendered His wants to His Father’s will – allowing Himself to be tortured, to be betrayed, to be murdered in such a brutal way. Christ provided the perfect example of what full surrender looks like. And it was because of His surrender and obedience, that I can come boldly into God’s throne room and receive grace and mercy. It is because of His surrender that my sin does not define who I am any longer. It is because of His surrender that I can be forgiven and spend eternity with Him. It is because of His surrender that I can concede, bow down, and surrender my will and wants and fears as well.
So, in short, I have surrendered. Finally. I choose to mark myself as a bondslave to Christ. Fully His. Fully available for His use. Fully trusting in Him to provide what He sees fit for me – even when trusting is a choice that still scares me. I will overcome my fears with my faith.
“Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.” Psalm 73:25 has become my prayer. I want to get to that place where the daily choices to trust that I am forcing myself to make turn into a lifetime of trust. I want to desire Jesus more than anything else in this world. Even if that means trusting Him with what seems like a terrifying future. I want to get to the place where Mary was – where she would willingly give up her dowry and future just to pour it out on Jesus’ feet in an act of pure love and surrender to Him. I’m only at the beginning stages of this. Bowing my knee, surrendering my everything to Him, cautiously, but fully, with tears in my eyes, wordlessly pleading with Him to not let me down. Surrender can be terrifying. But I’m hoping that one day I will be able to say the same thing Nancy Demoss states in her book on Surrender: The Heart God Controls:
“The pathway of surrender is not always an easy one. On occasion, I have found myself in some pretty turbulent waters, as a result of saying Yes to God. There have been points when it seemed like my little boat was going to capsize. But I have learned that there really is no safer place to be than in His will. And in the midst of the storms, I have found joy – indescribable joy. And blessings more often than I can number – blessings to be enjoyed here and now and the anticipation of eternal blessings that I cannot begin to fathom now. It really is true that “there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.”
Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to thee. Take my moments and my days; let them flow in endless praise. Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy love. Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee. Take my voice and let me sing, always, only, for my King. Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from Thee. Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold. Take my intellect and use every power as Thou shalt choose. Take my will and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine. Take my heart it is thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne. Take my love, my Lord; I pour at Thy feet its treasure store. Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.2
Nancy Leigh Demoss from her book Surrender: The Heart God Controls. ↩︎
Take My Life and Let it Be by Frances Ridley Havergal. ↩︎
Endnote: I share openly and honestly in this blog from my perspective and experience. It is not my intention or desire to speak negatively about my former spouse. I do not blame him for what was.
*I dedicate this blog to Jesus, Who never gives up on us. And also my friends Charity and Janeen who didn’t give up on me, who gently encouraged me, listened to me, prayed for me, and walked alongside me, even when they didn’t agree with me. Proverbs 17:17 says “A friend loves at all times.” Thank you for being there for me when I needed you the most.
I’ve always loved the season of Fall. Closing my eyes, I can almost feel as though I’m 15 again. Stepping off of the school bus, I’d start my short trek home, all the while loving the sounds of the huge leaves of both maple and elm crunch underfoot; the smell of wood burning stoves starting for the cooler temperatures. The leaves don’t tend to crunch as much in Saskatchewan and the maples are far fewer, but the cooler temperatures and the barren tree branches still represent a new season that is coming: winter.
I can’t help but love winter, mainly because there are far fewer insects I have to deal with, but also because of: (and who doesn’t love these?) fireplaces, cozy blankets, good books, hot cocoa with whipped cream, and extra cuddles with my kids during our school mornings.
As much as I enjoy the change of these seasons, there are some seasonal changes in life that I haven’t always enjoyed. Tax season isn’t exactly one I would label as “fun” or “pleasurable”. The season of becoming a new mother can be difficult for some. The season of walking through grief can feel awful. I’ve witnessed friends learning how to navigate the season of becoming empty nesters, which apparently can have its ups and downs. (I wouldn’t know as I haven’t reached that season just yet.)
Some seasons are better than others. Some seasons are worse than others. Some life seasons are chosen, while other seasons can be thrust upon us, sometimes when we least expect it. The past few months in my life have proved to be a significant change of seasons – and, as a result, there will only be more changes to come over the next few years. I’ll be honest: I didn’t exactly handle this most recent seasonal change very well at first. I don’t know about you, but when change is thrust upon me and I don’t know how to handle it, I become fearful…which can lead to emotional reactions due to that fear.
This most recent change of season caused me to fear not only my life and future, but it also caused me to be fearful of other people and even God. There were some weeks where I couldn’t pray, because I would have a panic attack. I still can’t open my Bible, because I will have a panic attack. Worship music was a hard no for awhile (and still is to some extent). So what do you do when you know the help you need the most is from the One you can’t talk to?
For the past couple of years, I’ve written encouraging snippets based on Scripture for a women’s ministry to share with their online following and I’ve written very openly about how Jesus is safe to trust. This recent season has been my turn to decide if I truly believed that. For me, it became a matter of choosing to trust the God who walks on water, even though I couldn’t speak to Him or hear His voice. I did the only things I could do – I listened to Revive Our Hearts podcasts – ones that encouraged and reminded me that, in what has seemed like the worst seasonal change of my life to date, Jesus is still with me…and He isn’t going anywhere. Another is that I have started memorizing Scripture again (a Psalm printed onto computer paper, since I can’t open my physical Bible). Reminding myself, in the only ways I can, that I have chosen to not give up on my faith or on God.
When the proverbial shit hits the fan, when life takes a turn that we didn’t want or didn’t expect, that’s truly when our faith is tested, isn’t it? I’m learning that changes in the seasons of our life can come out of nowhere. Sometimes, they can be exciting: a wedding celebration, a pregnancy, a job promotion, a new home. Sometimes, they can appear to be horrific: a cancer diagnosis, bankruptcy, a child that walks away from the Lord, tragedy. And with some of those changes, there is grief, anger, questioning, or denial. Those responses are pretty typical.
But there is another response. One that might take some time to put into practice. But, and hear me out here, what if….What If…instead of resisting the change we didn’t want, we started dreaming about how we could embrace it? I hear you. You might be asking, “How do you embrace something like cancer or tragedy?” I’m not suggesting we embrace those things, specifically. But what if we embraced the fact that this new change is in our life and we now have an opportunity to respond well to it? What would that look like? Perhaps it could be an opportunity to shine the light of Jesus in a hospital room. Or perhaps it could be an opportunity to learn new things and be able to help others when they are faced with a similar situation. Or perhaps, at the very least, it could be an opportunity to learn how to fully trust Jesus and understand what it means to fully rely on His strength for each new day.
I don’t mean to minimize pain or heartache with pleasant “Christianeze”. Perhaps a better way to explain what I mean would be this way: I’m a volunteer firefighter. I get calls any time of the day or night and I never know what type of situation I’ll be walking into or will have to deal with. We had a difficult call this year and my job required me to do something that “I never thought I could do”. But when your job is to deal with the situation, as horrible or awful as it may be, you do it. I came home after that call and just stared into space for awhile and cried, because the entire situation was traumatizing, for everyone involved. The week that followed was incredibly difficult. Images and sounds from that event intrusively flooded into the forefront of my mind at any given time. But I had close friends who were able to walk with me after that experience, who would let me cry as I tried to process what I witnessed. And now, those intrusive images and sounds are very few and I rarely think about that event. I did something I honestly didn’t know I would be capable of doing. Because I had to. Some people asked me if I still wanted to be on the fire department after that experience. It makes me smile to consider that. Because even though that call was not something anybody would ever want to experience, it did not, even for a moment, deter me from wanting to continue helping people on what can typically be one of the worst days of their lives. I embraced that experience and, because of that, I will be better at handling similar ones in the future, because I had to walk through the first one.
This seasonal change in my life has felt debilitating at times. There are many things that I have lost, and will continue to lose. But as I’ve been dreaming about new possibilities, I am also filled with hope. Growing up, a constant phrase I would often hear my mom say in our home was to, “Look at the positive!” Most of the time, as typical teenagers do, I would roll my eyes in response. But isn’t it funny how some of those things from our childhood can resonate with us in different situations as adults? That reminder to remain focused on the positive has forced me to really consider and look for positive things about this new season. In searching for them, I’ve discovered that there are many to be found. One positive that I hope will come from this new season is a renewed and deeper walk with Jesus. Another positive for me has been seeing kindness from people I wouldn’t normally have expected to see that displayed from. Another has been realizing that, even though I never thought I could have walked this new path, I actually am able to, because I’ve had to. A few people have stated that they have seen so much strength in me – strength I never knew I had. And as I was reminded, that “strength” is the power of God in me. It is not something I possess in and of myself. It never will be. But friend, I’m here to remind you of this truth: in whatever change of season you choose to face, or will be forced to face, you will never be alone. God’s strength is within you and He will never leave you to handle it on your own. Embrace the change. Look for the positives. They are there to be found. And in this new season, there can be so much to gain.
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him. - Psalm 28:7
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. - Psalm 73:26
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. - Joshua 1:9
It’s been a long time since I’ve written a sermon, but the time has come where I have been given an opportunity to share God’s Word again and this blog post is a glimpse into what I’ll be sharing: a deeper dive into Luke 24:13-35 (The journey to Emmaus). I hope you’ll grab a cup of coffee and join me on this journey of discovering Jesus all over again.
Before we read through this passage in Luke, it’s important to understand where it fits into the timeline of Jesus’ story. It’s Sunday. The day of Jesus’ resurrection. The women have gone to the tomb, but they discovered the stone rolled away and the angels told them that Jesus had risen. They ran to tell the news to the remaining eleven disciples. Peter and John raced to the tomb to inspect for themselves and discovered the same thing: the stone rolled away and the burial cloths laying just inside the tomb. But Scripture doesn’t state clearly that they believed Jesus was raised from the dead. In fact, it strongly suggests that they did not believe this news. They were perplexed and confused, and, fearing the Jews, they were hiding behind locked doors. (John 20:19)
Some of Jesus’ followers left Jerusalem after the Passover to travel to Emmaus on foot. As they walked, they discussed all of the events from the previous three days. Their story is as follows:
13 That very day two of them were going to a village named Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem, 14 and they were talking with each other about all these things that had happened. 15 While they were talking and discussing together, Jesus Himself drew near and went with them. 16 But their eyes were kept from recognizing Him. 17 And He said to them, “What is this conversation that you are holding with each other as you walk?” And they stood still, looking sad. 18 Then one of them, named Cleopas, answered Him, “Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?” 19 And He said to them, “What things?” And they said to Him, “Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, a man who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, 20 and how our chief priests and rulers delivered Him up to be condemned to death, and crucified Him. 21 But we had hoped that He was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things happened. 22 Moreover, some women of our company amazed us. They were at the tomb early in the morning, 23 and when they did not find His body, they came back saying that they had even seen a vision of angels, who said that He was alive. 24 Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but Him they did not see.” 25 And He said to them, “O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! 26 Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into His glory?” 27 And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, He interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning Himself.
28 So they drew near to the village to which they were going. He acted as if he were going farther, 29 but they urged Him strongly, saying, “Stay with us, for it is toward evening and the day is now far spent.” So He went in to stay with them. 30 When He was at table with them, He took the bread and blessed and broke it and gave it to them. 31 And their eyes were opened, and they recognized Him. And He vanished from their sight. 32 They said to each other, “Did not our hearts burn within us while He talked to us on the road, while He opened to us the Scriptures?” 33 And they rose that same hour and returned to Jerusalem. And they found the eleven and those who were with them gathered together, 34 saying, “The Lord has risen indeed, and has appeared to Simon!” 35 Then they told what had happened on the road, and how He was known to them in the breaking of the bread.
Luke 24:13-35
Some points I found to be worth noting about this passage are listed below:
1. (Vs. 13) “That very day” refers to resurrection Sunday, the day Jesus rose from the grave.
2. (Vs. 13) “Seven miles from Jerusalem”: This journey would have taken approximately two hours and a bit to walk. The distance from Jerusalem and travelling along the road would have afforded them the opportunity to discuss the events that had taken place that weekend (the death of Jesus) with less fear of the Jews over-hearing their conversation.
3. (Vs. 14) “They were talking with each other about all these things that had happened.” These events are outlined clearly in verses 19-24 (below).
19 And He said to them, “What things?” And they said to Him, “Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, a man who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, 20 and how our chief priests and rulers delivered Him up to be condemned to death, and crucified Him. 21 But we had hoped that He was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things happened. 22 Moreover, some women of our company amazed us. They were at the tomb early in the morning, 23 and when they did not find His body, they came back saying that they had even seen a vision of angels, who said that He was alive. 24 Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but Him they did not see.”
4. (Vs. 16) “Their eyes were kept from recognizing Him.” There are many speculated reasons for this. Some suggest it could have been because God divinely held back their ability to recognize Jesus. Others suggest it could have been due to poor air quality (although the rest of the passage makes this seem unlikely). And still other sources reason it could have been due to Christ’s changed appearance from the disfigurement He would have had from enduring torture and beatings. They may not have immediately recognized His resurrected state.
The point is: it doesn’t matter. They did not need to know Jesus was bodily present with them to converse with Him and learn from Him. His spiritual presence was enough for them.
5. (Vs. 17) “They stood still, looking sad”…and they were. Their friend, Master, Rabbi, was just brutally murdered in front of them three days prior and they’ve heard stories of His body now having gone missing. They are distraught, confused, and trying to make sense of an incredibly traumatizing three days and are most likely desperate to be hopeful that Jesus is actually alive, but perhaps also a little fearful of that hope. Crushed hope makes hearts sick.
6. (Vs. 26) “Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into His glory?” Throughout the Old Testament, God’s chosen leaders were first brought through suffering and then to glory. In fulfilling this pattern, the Messiah would also have to suffer before entering into His glory. Matthew Henry’s commentary states, “He could not have been a Saviour if He had not been a sufferer.”
7. (Vs. 27) “And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, He interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning Himself.” They didn’t know the things being explained to them were about the Person doing the explaining, but Jesus was making it clear that their Master could be trusted, that what He had said was true, and that His actions had fulfilled Old Testament prophecies. Jesus’ first recorded action after His resurrection was to once again make blinded eyes see the Truth of who He was. He took the time to explain and make clear God’s Word to these two people journeying to Emmaus.
8. (Vs. 29) “But they urged Him strongly saying, ‘Stay with us’.” It’s common for us, after spending time in God’s presence, to want to linger there with Him, isn’t it? May their request be the cry of our hearts each day. “Stay with us!” “So He went in to stay with them.” He met their request as they hadn’t finished learning from Him yet. He meets our requests as well.
9. (Vs. 30-31a) “When He was at table with them, He took the bread and blessed and broke it and gave it to them. And their eyes were opened, and they recognized Him.” Note: “He broke bread.” “They recognized Him.” This is the first recorded event post-resurrection where Jesus eats with His followers and, beautifully, it bears a striking resemblance to the last meal He shared with His disciples just prior to His death. This was a representation of His body that was broken for them. It was this simple act that made them finally recognize Him for the Messiah that He was and is. This action answered their plea and hopes expressed earlier in verse 21: “We had hoped that He was the one to redeem Israel”. The breaking of the bread, representing Christ’s broken body, IS the hope and redemption of Israel.
10. (Vs. 31b) “He vanished from their sight.” Jesus had finished revealing Himself to them and teaching them what they desperately needed to know, but He didn’t leave them in the dark. He had just finished equipping them with the knowledge and understanding of who He was. They knew now how to find Him. Henry’s commentary says, “Such short and transient views have we of Christ in this world; we see Him, but in a little while lose sight of Him again. When we have come to heaven, the vision of Him will have no interruptions.” Oh, what a day of rejoicing that will be!
11. (Vs. 33) “They rose that same hour.” There is urgency here, as there should be. Christ has risen! Tell everyone! They walked for another two hours (although, I’m guessing they went much faster this time) back to Jerusalem to share the good news with the eleven disciples (and the others) gathered there.
12. (Vs. 34) “The Lord has risen indeed, and has appeared to Simon!” 1 Corinthians 15:4-5 states, “that He was buried, that He was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures, and that He appeared to Cephas (Peter), then to the twelve.” It’s understood from these verses that Jesus has appeared to Peter also, but it’s evident that Peter has not yet told the others about that just yet in our timeline. Who knows? But God obviously made this fact apparent to the two people in Emmaus.
13. (Vs. 35) “He was known to them in the breaking of the bread.” This statement beautifully and poignantly wraps up the encounter the travellers on the road to Emmaus had with their Master. The risen Messiah, in the breaking of the bread, helped these weary travellers see that He had broken His body and poured out His life for Isreal’s, for the world’s, for their redemption.
There are so many lessons to learn from this short section of Scripture, but some of my personal take-aways from this passage are:
1. When Christians are distressed, it is wise to meet with a fellow believer who can encourage them. The two travellers to Emmaus did not go off alone in their distress, but rather stuck together, walking and talking about the grief and questions in their hearts.
2. Jesus notices our grief and comforts us in it if we allow Him to.
3. Jesus meets us in our searching and our seeking.
4. Jesus is able to help us understand His Holy Word and He does so when we ask Him to.
5. What has been your road to Emmaus? Where were you distressed and how did Jesus meet you in that?
I was asked this question three years ago in a room with a few hundred other women. My immediate thought was, “No. I do not.” And each year following, I have asked myself that same question and every year, my response has been the same. And it has bothered me, mercilessly. The question itself angers me because I know the answer. It hasn’t changed. I hate my answer, because I desire the opposite to be true. And then I become angry with myself because I don’t know what it looks like to adore Jesus. I just know that I haven’t adored Him.
For the most part, I’ve managed to ignore the question. But each time I’ve heard the word “adore”, over the last few years, I’ve grown quiet…guilty. It might just be that someone has used that word while referring to a pair of shoes or their spouse, but whenever I’ve heard it used, in the back of my mind, I hear that question again and it has still bothered me…until recently.
Do you adore Jesus?
A few weeks ago, I was working through an advent study with a friend and sure enough, that word popped up, yet again. And I finally came to the point where I had to wrestle with two things. The first is that I needed to learn what it means to adore Jesus…and do it. The second is that I needed to reconcile the issue of feeling guilty about not adoring the one Person who came to earth to remove my guilt and shame. Oxymoronic, isn’t it?
This wrestling caused me to do some research and reflection. The results of those items are what I’d like to share with you here. My hope is that they will be a catalyst in your desire to worship and adore Jesus or at least motivate you to do so. May what I’ve discovered be an encouragement to you during whatever season of life you are in right now.
If you Google the definition of the word “adore”, this is what you will find: “love and respect (someone) deeply; like very much; worship; venerate”. This was my starting point. The word itself stems from Latin origins meaning “to worship”. “Adore” is not found in Scripture, yet it has a significant and profound impact on our relationship with Christ. Or, at the very least, it should.
So, what does it mean to adore Jesus? Well, simply, I believe it means to love Him and to worship Him, reverently, and with abandon. But what does that look like?
Bob Bakke, a pastor in the Minnesota area, and the same person who asked me that nagging question three years ago, shared a sermon from John 12 about Mary, the sister of Martha and Lazarus. Just prior to Jesus’ betrayal and death, Mary did the unthinkable. She came into a room of men, let down her hair (something not done by women in those days unless in front of their husband alone), broke open a bottle of perfume (what many scholars believe was her dowry / a year’s wage’s worth), and soaked Jesus’ feet with it, bathing His feet in the process, and wiping His feet dry with her hair.
Why? Why would she do something so absurd, so radical, so humiliating? Because she adored Jesus. Bakke states that Mary’s actions that night “risked her entire future on ten minutes at the feet of Jesus”. Doesn’t that thought make you stop for a moment? It’s crazy! In a matter of minutes, Mary gave up everything that secured her future, just to be with Jesus. But that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? At the very heart of worship lies that word we don’t like. Surrender.
Would you give up everything for just a few moments at the feet of Jesus? Your house, your savings, your health, your community, your retirement plan, your children (or your desire for children), your belongings? What is it that you hold most dear? Would you give it all up for just a few minutes at Jesus’ feet – to worship Him in humble adoration?
I know that I don’t possess the ability to surrender like that in my own strength. Not even close. But what I do have is this: a request from my heart – to help me surrender like that, to help me want to worship like that, to help me adore Jesus like that. And the amazing truth is that when you ask for those things, from a place of true humility, Jesus meets you in your willingness and desire.
As I pondered earlier on the beauty of Mary’s adoration, humility, and surrender, I asked Jesus to make my heart and mind desire precious time with Him and to help me adore Him like Mary did. In the minutes that followed, with tears streaming down my face, I came to understand that to adore Jesus is to worship Him. To marvel Him – Who He is and what He’s done. To adore Jesus is to love Him. And to love Him is to obey Him.
To worship and adore Jesus does not mean that I read my Bible and ask God for all of the things I want and check that off my to-do list for the day. It means taking the time to listen for His voice and to hear from Him, obeying what He says. To worship Him is to spend time in His presence. Worshipping and adoring Jesus can be radical and it can appear absurd, like David dancing naked before the Lord or Mary’s anointing of Jesus’ feet. In that moment, nothing else matters; not other’s thoughts or scorning words. Just Jesus. Only Jesus. Actions of adoration, perhaps viewed in the eyes of the world as insanity, may just be what changes the world. As Bakke suggests, “There is no telling what divine scheme we may be initiating, what you may be initiating, what mysteries may be unfolding, what enemies we may be defeating when we simply give ourselves for the worship and adoration of Jesus”.
Adoration begins with worship.
William Temple shares the following statements on worship:
1. Worship quickens the conscience by the holiness of God.
2. Worship feeds the mind with the truth of God.
3. Worship purges the imagination by the beauty of God.
4. Worship opens the heart to the love of God.
5. Worship devotes the will to the purposes of God.
If we want to really adore Jesus, worship is where it starts. We recognize His holiness, we read and meditate on the truth of His Word, we spend time in awe and wonder of His beauty, we are humbled by and receive His love for us and those we cannot love in our own strength, and we obey His will for our lives.
Do you adore Jesus?
If not, I hope you have found a place to start – with a humble request and the desire to worship Him like Mary did. And what better time to start than this season of Christmas – the season of miracles – where Jesus was humble enough to become a helpless baby, to be born in a manger, to leave the joy of the throne room of heaven to come to earth, knowing He would die a torturous death. For you. For me.
If you are in need of practical suggestions, like myself, I would gently encourage you to start this way. Find 30 minutes in your schedule. Turn on your Christmas tree lights and turn off the other lights. Read John 12:1-7 and meditate on it as you listen to the words of this song, based on Psalm 130.
I Will Wait For You (Psalm 130) by Shane & Shane
And then wait for Him. Worship Him. Give time and space for Him to speak to you. I can tell you from experience that if you wait long enough, you will indeed hear His voice. And it will be worth every moment spent in the waiting.
This Christmas season, don’t wait until another day to adore your Saviour. Start right now. Quiet your heart. Worship Him in honesty and humility. If you don’t know what to say, tell Him that. But absolutely refuse to move until He meets you where you are. He is worth your veneration, your respect, your love, your worship, and your adoration.
My prayer is that when you attend church this advent season and you find yourself singing the words, “Oh, come, let us adore Him”, you truly know what that means, because it’s something you’ve chosen to do with intentionality already. May you join with the shepherds and, in your heart and mind, go to Bethlehem to behold Him, the King of angels. May you always be in awe and wonder of the King of your heart. May you, today and forevermore, adore Jesus in full surrender, with joyful obedience, and total abandon.
I was given the opportunity to share at my Nanny’s funeral today and the following is my testimony to her life – and a life well-lived, it was indeed.
As a child, I had the unique opportunity to come to Ottawa and live with Nanny, Poppy, and Shirley for a significant portion of each summer. As a result, I had the privilege of spending countless hours with Nanny, and I’d like to take the next few moments to share with you some of my fondest memories and personal observations of her character.
First off, Nanny was resilient. She encountered any obstacle that came her way with dignity and with grace. I remember asking her (I was very young at the time) why it was that she had dentures. She told me it was because she was so poor growing up that she and her siblings had only one toothbrush to share so she didn’t get to use one very often. There was no bitterness in her tone when she told me that. It was just the way it was. She accepted that.
Second, Nanny was courageous and brave! She somehow managed to stay at home with four young children while her husband was serving in Israel as a peacekeeper. She made nutritious meals on an incredibly low budget, managed her home, still attended church services every Sunday (with her and her daughters in matching dresses, which she sewed herself), and still found time to teach her children about the love of Jesus.
Nanny. Was. Frugal! Honestly, she could make many meals off a dime (or from all the food she kept in her multiple deep-freezes or cold room storage of canned goods…which she did all herself). I still remember newspapers spread across her kitchen table with the coupon sections cut out. One fond memory that still makes me chuckle is the time she came home from work at lunch and stated that she didn’t feel like cooking – a first for her! She informed me that she had some coupons for Burger King and asked if I would like to go there for lunch together. This was a BIG DEAL. Not only was Nanny willing to eat at a fast-food establishment, but she was also willing to pay to eat there. I remember being in utter shock at her suggestion, but excited, I quickly corrected my eyes which were wide in disbelief and said, “Yes!” What’s even more amazing about this story is that this happened the next day AND the next! By Day 3 I didn’t know what had happened to Nanny or who this woman even was. But I enjoyed those Burger King lunches, dodging Ottawa traffic each day to get there, and after one of those visits, going with her to the park, just walking around, and taking in the sights of the Rideau Canal, hand in hand.
Nanny was a hard worker. I still shake my head in disbelief when I think of how hard she worked, for so many years. I honestly don’t know how she managed to do it all. She cooked three meals a day, found the time and energy to grow and tend a large garden, can all the produce from the garden, hang the laundry on the line to dry, sew dresses and matching outfits, sew on buttons and hem items for her grandkids, work outside the home part-time, still manage to run home on her lunch break to make and serve lunch to Poppy before going back to work in the afternoon, pay the bills, mow the lawn, plant flower beds, and knit a plethora of items, just to spend every second Saturday at CARP – Ottawa’s farmer’s market – to sell her hand-knit creations. I enjoyed spending those mornings with her at the market. Sometimes, she would open her cash box and give me a bit of change to go buy snacks at another vendor’s booth. She may have been frugal – but she was also very generous. Not only with her money, but also with her time. I remember waking up one night just before midnight and, noticing the kitchen light still on, I made my way out to the kitchen just to find her sitting at the table, knitting a dishcloth – a common occurrence. Instead of being bothered by the fact that I was out of bed in the middle of the night, she just asked me if I was hungry and promptly made me a peanut butter and jam sandwich. I ate it while I watched her knit quietly. I asked if she’d be going to bed anytime soon since it was late, and she casually replied that she had about another 10 dishcloths to knit before market the next morning…so she’d be awhile yet. I just assumed that adults didn’t need sleep after that.
Finally, Nanny loved Jesus. And she made Jesus known. She taught Christ and His love to her children and to those around her. This is evident in the lives of her descendants and in the way she treated others. I remember vaguely her expressing frustration one day because a patient she had been assigned to sit with wasn’t receiving the level of care she felt her patient needed or deserved. To Nanny, the situation was unfair and unjust, and she was going to make her thoughts known to whoever it was that was in charge. She gracefully fought for justice when she could. She aimed to show Christ’s love and character to everyone. I distinctly remember seeing her Bible open on the kitchen table (amidst all the coupons) so very often. Before tucking me in at night, she would kneel beside the bed, gently brush her fingertips over my eyelids to help me sleep and would pray with and for me. I’ve never forgotten how loved that simple action made me feel. She was a very good Nanny to me. With fond remembrance, at times I still glide my hands over other sleepy, little eyelids, and I have to say, that trick still seems to work.
Nanny was by no means perfect. She had her faults. But I will always be grateful for the gentle and loving manner in which she treated me. I am forever thankful for the legacy she has left. She loved Jesus. And, if you knew her at all, then you know her life was evident of that.
“What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?” -Jean Jacques Rosseau
The Oxford Languages dictionary suggests the word ‘kindness’ is: the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. What images does your brain conjure up when you think of the word ‘kindness’? Do you remember a specific event; one in which kindness was extended to you? What memories come flooding back? What emotions do you feel? Or, instead, do you remember instances in your life where your very soul craved to be shown kindness on some level, and you never received it? Perhaps you didn’t grow up in a home where kindness was practiced. Or for some of you, you may not even know how to recognize kindness anymore because what you thought was kindness, was in actual fact, manipulation, control, and abuse. Whatever your experience, I invite you to share a conversation with me here in this space. Grab a cup of coffee, find a comfy spot on your couch, take a deep breath, exhale your chaos, and join me in this quiet moment.
Over the past year or so, I’ve been processing and pondering not only the word ‘kindness’, but also what it means to be kind, what that looks like, and why it’s imperative to practice extending it to others, even if we don’t feel that we are recipients of kindness ourselves. My journey started when I began working through Michael Card’s book, ‘Inexpressible: Hesed and the Mystery of God’s Loving-Kindness’.
Have you ever heard of the Hebrew word, ‘Hesed’? It’s a powerful one. A life-changing one…if you know what it means. But here’s the catch: you won’t ever really know the full extent of what it means because there is no one word in the English language that can accurately translate it completely. 🙂 Hesed is a Hebrew word found in the Bible which refers to all the characteristics of God. Card states, “A single word is rarely enough in a given context to express all that hesed means, so translators are forced to pile on adjectives.” For example: Hesed can mean the following:
miracle, mercy, generous mercy, benevolence, compassion, persistent faithfulness, faithfulness, faithful act, reliable, solidarity, goodwill, ardent zeal, grace, graciousness, extravagant generosity, largesse, glory, honor, honoring, pity, clemency, rock, bedrock, God-fearing, piety, charity, strength, devout, active goodness, favor, immense favor, loyal friendship, good heartedness, working graciously, generous, endlessly patient, generous act of goodness, devotion, devoted work, commitment, goodness, good deeds, gracious dealings, beauty, big-heartedness, unconditional, all-inclusive love for all creation
Sound like a lot? Yes. And it should. Most commentators would suggest that any time you see the word ‘loving-kindness’ in the Old Testament, it would be referring to the word hesed. Card gives a very simplistic, yet beautiful description of Hesed, which is the definition I’ll use as reference for the rest of this blog. He writes, “Hesed: When the person from whom I have a right to expect nothing gives me everything.” Isn’t that beautiful? Doesn’t that inspire you? At the very least, it ought to point you to the beauty of the gospel: God’s ultimate kindness to us.
What motivates you to be kind? Stop and think with me for awhile here. Don’t rush past this. What’s your motivator to extend kindness? Do you have an alterior motive? Are you hoping for kindness to be returned to you? Are you expecting anything in return? What’s the driving force behind why you show kindness to others? A friend asked me this question not that long ago and it forced me to really think on what my motivation is behind why I choose to be kind.
After some thought, I came up with the following: I choose to be kind because of my obedience to Christ. Paul states in Ephesians 5:1, “Be imitators of God”. Christ has been extremely kind to me and compassionate, so I try to do likewise to others. Christ also states in John 14:15 that “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” What was the greatest commandment? Matthew 22:36 quotes Jesus’ response to this question. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” That’s where my motivation comes from. I have no wish to receive anything in return. I don’t just show kindness to try and “convert” people to Christianity. If that happens as a result, then that’s awesome, but it’s not my goal or motivation in extending kindness. It comes down to one point and for me, that point is being obedient to and to imitate Christ alone.
When we make the choice to extend kindness, we choose to be an imitator of Christ and His Word. When we choose to respond in love instead of reacting in anger or frustration, we do what Paul tells us to in Colossians 3:12-14. Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, KINDNESS, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. When we choose to put on kindness, we become what Nancy Demoss Wolgemuth calls “instruments of grace”. She states in her book, Adorned: Living Out the Beauty of the Gospel, Together, “Yes, people may cause the lion’s share of our headaches. But when we serve people, we serve Christ. And when we treat people with kindness rather than indifference or impatience, we become channels of blessing, dispensing gracious words and actions that can’t help but adorn the gospel of Christ.” (pg. 319)
But here’s another question for you. Have you ever noticed that it’s one thing to show kindness to a homeless person by purchasing them a coffee or a lunch, but it’s a totally different thing to show kindness to the people who live in our very home? We might be tempted to think, But I AM kind to my family! I make their meals, I do their laundry, I pick up after them, etc. Those are indeed good things to do and they have the ability to show kindness, but do you do those things out of love? Because if you don’t, it’s pointless. Read that again. Pointless! Wolgemuth suggests that “God cares about our motives and our disposition – how that service is carried out, how we treat and respond to our family, friends, and others.” (pg. 310) Paul states in 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 “If I speak in the tongues of men and angels…if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge…if I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain NOTHING.” Based on these verses, Wolgemuth continues, “He might similarly say of women who serve their families and care for their homes, ‘If I have a house so spotless that people could eat off the kitchen floor…and if I can whip up incredibly scrumptious meals on a tight budget…and if I’ve transformed our home into a magazine-quality showcase…but I don’t do it all with kindness, it’s nothing.” Our kindness and love are not felt when the noise of our tiredness, exasperation, and frustration screams so much louder.
When we choose to be kind, we showcase God’s glory and His love to the rest of the world.
To end, I wanted to share some stories with you that had been sent to me on kindness in action. I trust they will encourage you and uplift you, maybe make you shed a tear or two as they did me, and motivate you to extend the hesed of God to a world around you that’s desperate for kindness.
Three of my homeschool mom friends came to my house the week we were packing up to move. As a mother of seven, the basement clutter was overwhelming to me. They hauled out and sorted through stuff in every nook and cranny. The following year, those same three and their girls drove 3.5 hours to my new home to throw me a surprise 50th birthday party!
I was having a rough day, slept through my alarm, late for work, stressful clients. At lunch, I stopped and got a sandwich and grabbed a bag of donuts to get me through the rest of the day. As soon as I walked out the door, I dropped my sandwich. The container flew open and the sandwich fell to the ground. I picked it up and threw it out and started to walk away, too frustrated to walk back. Then I heard someone yelling “Excuse me!” I turned around and a guy who had seen me drop my sandwich told the cashier and they replaced my sandwich for free. I was so embarrassed but also happy and grateful and it made my day better.
Last Christmas was the first year my father and his siblings were without their mother. Dad had 12 siblings and one was my aunt who has Down Syndrome. She is living in a group home with other women who are mentally challenged. Last year, my dad, along with his other 11 siblings decided to each take a day leading up to Christmas to surprise my Auntie and the other ladies, basically like a 12 Days of Christmas. They did anything from performing skits for all the ladies to bringing gifts for everyone, baking, singing Christmas carols, etc. I just thought it was such a wonderful thing to do for my Aunt, yet alone the other ladies that lived there. I’m sure it must have been tough to spend their first Christmas without Grandma, and then to have all the Covid restrictions on top of everything…but every time another sibling showed up, all of the ladies faces lit up with joy.
It was in the fall of 2009. I was about 3 months pregnant with my first baby and was feeling very sick and very low emotionally. I was still pretty new to the city, and to Canada, and to marriage, and to pregnancy. And, though I was very happy to be in the place I was, I was feeling a little lonely for all that was familiar and comfortable. I had to do some shopping and went into a gift shop to browse for a gift for a friend. I had picked up a wooden Willow Tree figurine and considered it, then put it back. As I pulled my hand out from the shelf, my coat sleeve caught another Willow Tree figure and it fell to the floor, the head rolling off across the floor. I was a little panicked and upset that now I’d have to pay for something that was worthless and broken. I was trembling as I took the head and body of the figure up to the desk. I held them up and explained to the store-keeper that I had knocked it off and it broke. He shook his head a bit and said, “Oh, I’m gonna have to have you pay for it”, not unkindly but a bit brusquely. I nodded and barely managed an, “I know”, before tears came to my eyes. He could tell how bad I felt and I was trying to be brave and I knew the right thing was absolutely to pay for it. I just felt awful about breaking it, awful about having to waste money on something broken, and maybe just awful because I felt so sick all the time. Anyway, he paused, tipped his head thoughtfully, and said, “Wait just a minute”. He headed to the back of the store and brought back a little package of super glue and handed it to me, saying maybe that would help me fix it if I wanted to. I thanked him with a choked up voice and got out my money to pay. At that point, he waved his hand and just said, “No, don’t worry about it. You can just have it and the glue.” Then my tears spilled over and I weakly protested that I knew I should pay for it, that I was responsible for breaking it. He wouldn’t accept my payment and then asked what chruch I went to. I explained briefly about my small home church group and he shook his head and said something like, “I was just wondering, beacuse most people wouldn’t have even told me. They would have left the broken figure on the floor and walked out. So for you to come to me and accept responsibility, well, that’s just a very different kind of person.” I thanked him with all my heart for showing me mercy and kindness. Then I walked home and bawled most of the afternoon over the kindness he showed to me in my moment of shame, embarrassment, and lonliness. It still makes me cry. I glued that head back on, and even though it wasn’t even a figurine I would have picked, not one of my favorites, I have it still to remind me of mercy and kindness given when we don’t deserve it. The figure is holding out a wrapped gift. It amazes me how the figure itself pictures what that gentleman did for me. It may all sound like I was over-dramatic or made a huge deal out of something that was pretty trivial. The thing is, that kind man met me in my neediness and was kind just to be kind. He didn’t have to. Kind of like Jesus.
My head is beyond full of frustration. Anger. A total jumble of words that are exploding. And yet…I can’t seem to type any of it just yet. Listening to music that gives God glory and praises Him is keeping me from spewing my frustration all over this blog. I’m angry. I’d possibly consider it to be righteous anger, except for the very unrighteous words that want to scream from my lips. But for the sake of my point here, I’ll reign in that frustration. Right now, I’m angry at Christians. Specifically, people who call themselves by that name, yet defame Christ behind (and some not behind) the protection of their keyboard.
I do not claim to be guiltless of this sin. Not at all. Let’s just be clear on that right from the start.
It’s one thing to have disagreement. It’s another thing to have disagreement when it’s not face-to-face. It’s another thing altogether when Christians behave in any manner BUT Christ-likeness when they disagree, in public, in private, and online.
Conflict is NOT bad. Did you know that conflict can actually be healthy?! I’m serious! But fighting, discord, and dissension…that’s different. And that’s why I’m typing faster than my head can even think.
When we call ourselves Christians, do we know what that means? It means we represent Christ. In our actions, in our behaviors (both public and private), and even in our attitudes! No, it doesn’t mean perfection. We are still sinners (and always will be, this side of heaven). BUT, we are called to a life of holiness and Christ-likeness!
“Be holy, because I am holy.”
– 1 Peter 1:16
Newsflash: This does not mean it’s OK to rip people apart, tear them down, or speak unkindly or disrespectfully to them – on any platform.
When we do this, our true colors show vibrantly. When we do this, the bottom line is: We lack humility, grace, and the ability to “count others more significant than ourselves”. (Philippians 2:3)
It is absolutely impossible, however, to behave in a way that represents Christ when we are so filled with self-righteousness. Colossians 3 is very clear on the matter of “putting off” our old self and what it looks like to the world when we “put on” Christ.
“PUT TO DEATH therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry…But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth…
PUT ON then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these PUT ON LOVE, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the PEACE OF CHRIST rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do EVERYTHING in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
Colossians 3:5-8, 12-17
In the book/movie, Sense and Sensibility, the character of Marianne Dashwood is immature and cares nothing about what others think, until near the end of the story (after she’s been humiliated and forced to grow up) her sister asks of her, “Do you compare your conduct with his?”, referring to an equally selfish and immature individual. Marianne astonishes the reader audience by her maturity when she responds, “No. I compare it with what it ought to have been; I compare it with yours.”
We cannot compare our sinful attitudes and behaviors to others. We must compare it to Christ’s.
Why is it so difficult for us to truly love others as Christ does? Easy answer? Because we lack holiness and humility in our lives. We get so hung up on being right and trying to make people see our perspective that we actually lose focus on the perspective we need to be having. The perspective of Christ’s.
When we stir up dissension or call people out, thinking we are being Christ’s warriors (regardless of the platform or circumstance), are we doing it out of a heart and attitude of love? I know I’ve been guilty of calling people out, not out of love, but rather frustration, hurt, and anger over what I have believed to be injustice. But we must remember that “Controversy for the sake of controversy is sin.” – Walter Martin
When we choose to be “keyboard warriors” (regardless of where we are and who we are speaking to), remember your audience and onlookers, for Christ’s holy sake. Think of what you are showcasing. Are you radiating the goodness, the kindness, and the character of Christ in your words and attitudes, or are you defaming His name and His grace for the sake of pride?
“If anyone teaches a different doctrine and does not agree with the sound words of our Lord Jesus Christ and the teaching that accords with godliness, he is puffed up with conceit and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy craving for controversy and for quarrels about words, which produce envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions, and constant friction among people who are depraved in mind and deprived of the truth, imagining that godliness is a means of gain.”
1 Timothy 6:3-5
“Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?”
James 4:11-12
Friends, let’s showcase Christ. Let’s let His grace and mercy and humility radiate from our lives, our lips, and our fingertips. It’s OK to disagree with one another! It’s NOT OK to slander or showcase hostility towards one another. As a friend shared with me recently, “Disagreement turns into dissension when we lose sight of our respect and love for the other person and their perspective. Is the point of your disagreement worth sinning for?”
When in doubt, pray. Hard! Seek the Lord. Ask Him to make you aware of your own sin…and repent of it before you dish out any kind of rebuke on somebody else. A prayer that I have been repeating daily as of late has been: “Oh, God, show me more of Your holiness. Show me more of my sinfulness. Help me to hate sin and to love righteousness as You do. Grant me a deeper conviction of sin and a more thorough spririt of repentance. And make me holy as You are holy.“ (Holiness by Nancy Leigh DeMoss)
There is nothing wrong with disagreement. But there is evil in slander and dissension.
Are you filled with pride or humility? Are you truly seeking to bring the opposing person to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ? Are you giving God the glory in this situation? Or are you simply trying to win the argument?
“Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”
1 John 3:18
In the words of Tim Neufeld’s song, Benediction, “To God be the glory, forever and ever. To God be the praise of all men. To God be the glory, forever and ever. To God be the glory, Amen.”
I talk a lot. Those that know me can attest to this. On top of that, I have a very sharp tongue. And to add to the problem even further, the words that come out of my mouth a lot of the time are anything but pure.
Lately, I have been told by a few people that I am a really great encourager. That comes as a major surprise to me. I don’t feel like I do that at all, but I can’t help but notice that it has come up in conversation not just once, but a few times – to the point where I can’t ignore it anymore and have begun to wonder if that is a spiritual gift that has been hiding somewhere deep within. So it’s no surprise that words have been on my mind lately.
Scripture has a lot to say about words and about the importance of holding one’s tongue as well as encouragement. So I’ve started a mini-study on what impact that should have in my life. Here’s what I’ve come up with:
Fools Talk:
Ecclesiastes 5:3 …Many words mark the speech of a fool.
Ecclesiastes 9:17 The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools.
Ecclesiastes 10:12 Words from the mouth of the wise are gracious, but fools are consumed by their own lips.
Ecclesiastes 10:14 …Fools multiply words.
Have you ever noticed that the quiet ones usually have the most profound/meaningful things to say?
Tongues are Powerful:
James 3:5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.
James 3:8 …No human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
This last verse really made me think. If we can’t tame the tongue, what hope do we have? Our only hope is Christ Jesus. He is the One that created us. He created our tongues and our ability to speak. He alone can tame a fiery tongue. We need only ask. But what if I have asked? What if I have wept over my speech and begged God to take my unholy words away from me? What then? I believe it is a conscious decision to consistently be in prayer (1 Thess. 5:17), asking God’s assistance with our speech, each day. Remembering to really think before we speak. Accepting the challenge of continually seeking to live a holy, God-fearing life. Only then can we expect change.
Guarding One’s Tongue:
Proverbs 21:23 Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.
Psalm 34:13 …Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies.
Our Words:
James 3:10 Out of the same mouth comes praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.
Ecclesiastes 5:2 Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.
Matthew 15:18 But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them.
Going Forward:
Desiring a godly heart is a good place to start, but it is not the same as having one. Having a godly heart does not mean being perfect either. I desire a Christ-like heart; one of compassion, love, cheerfulness, goodness, self-control, temperance, (shall I list all of the fruits of the Spirit?), but do not feel that I exhibit these. And truth be told, it’s probably because I don’t – when it really matters. It’s easy for me to have compassion on the homeless person asking for money. It’s easy for me to be cheerful when I’m doing what I love. It’s easy to be good at work when I have a performance review approaching. It’s easy for me to be patient when I’m waiting for something I really want. But what about those other times? What if it’s having compassion on somebody going through a circumstance and your thought is for them to “suck it up.” What if it’s being cheerful in the midst of a failing marriage? What if it’s being good when nobody is watching and you’re aching to do X. What if it’s being patient when that toddler asks that same question for the fifteenth time and you are busy doing something else?
Having a godly heart, I believe, is:
First – having the desire.
Second – realizing our imperfection.
Thirdly – recognizing God’s perfection.
Fourthly – asking for His transformation on our lives.
Fifthly – actively working towards being like Him each day.
So for those that may find a discussion on “words and encouragement” strange coming from me, it’s actually quite perfect. As a woman who struggles with her filthy words and foolish talk, I am the perfect candidate to kneel before God in humbleness and beg for forgiveness and ask for wisdom. For my words to change, my heart has to change (Matt. 15:18 – as above), and so does my mind – Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
On understanding encouragement as a spiritual gift, I am still praying about that one. Discovering our spiritual gifts is a journey. And although I would never have considered encouragement as one of mine, I’m wondering if perhaps spiritual gifts can change as God changes us.
I want to honor God with my words, but change will hardly happen if we don’t set the right boundaries. That’s where accountability comes in. So if you hear me say something that isn’t any of the following, please remind me (gently) of this blog post.
Thanks for being on this journey with me.
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.
The Miriam-Webster dictionary defines Encouragement in three ways:
a.to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope b. to attempt to persuade
to spur on
to give help or patronage to
When was the last time you felt encouraged? What brought about that feeling? Chances are, it was probably someone who said something positive or uplifting to you or did something for you simply out of the kindness of their heart. It’s a great feeling, isn’t it? To be encouraged. To have someone believe in us, cheer for us, help us, pray for us. Sometimes, the encouragement we receive can make us feel as though we’re on top of the world, as if we are capable of accomplishing any task, no matter how difficult it may be. But that’s because there’s power behind encouragement, isn’t there?
Why is that? How can someone’s words or actions impact our own in such a drastic way? I think it’s for the same reason that when another person speaks hurtful or unkind things about us or even to us, we cringe. It hurts!
We were made FOR community and to be IN community.
It’s simply a part of the divine creation and order of things. God made us to be a communal people. His design and intent was never that His children would walk alone in this world, to strive to be able to do things on our own, or to even have to do things on our own. You only have to look at Scripture to find truth to that.
So who encourages you? Who spurs you on “towards love and good deeds”? (Hebrews 10:24) Who encourages you and builds you up? (1 Thessalonians 5:11) If you don’t have somebody who can speak life into your life, what are you doing about it? Have you sought out a mentor or do you just sit miserably on your couch and “hope” someone will befriend and encourage you? That might sound harsh, but know that you aren’t alone. I was like you…for years.
“Where do I start?”, you might ask. Great question! My best suggestion is church. If you don’t have a home church, start by finding one. If you do have a home church, start by getting involved! And no, the excuse of: “I just don’t have time” doesn’t fly with me. You obviously have five minutes to sit and read this blog, so obviously you have five minutes you could spend helping out at church (granted…extenuating circumstances aside). It can be small! Maybe, for you, it looks like talking to the church secretary and asking how you can help with only five minutes of spare time – maybe that’s thinking of craft ideas for a Sunday School class, maybe it’s being an usher one Sunday morning and handing out bulletins before the service starts, maybe it’s offering to make an extra loaf of bread (or buy one while you’re already at the grocery store) for communion. Maybe you have more time and you can help with teaching a Sunday School class, leading a Bible study one night a week, or helping with the Kids Clubs at your church. When you do these things – when you “get involved”, you get to know other people on a deeper level than just your regular Sunday morning pew-warming neighbours. And let’s be honest – how well do you REALLY know the people who warm the pews around your specific, self-allotted section? Probably not that well. But getting involved opens up new opportunities to meet fellow believers who are just like you – people who love Jesus. The issue is – you can’t stop here.
Getting to know other people requires real work. It involves opening the doors of your home to others, practising hospitality (Romans 12:3), regardless of how big…or tiny your home is. Truly, the size of your home matters very little compared to the size of your heart – that, THAT is what people will see. THAT is what will attract others to you. So stop focusing on your own self-loathing and get out there! Do what you can with what you have, regardless of how little that may be. When you start to get to know people, you start to care for them, to love them – so show it by your actions. “My children, our love should not be only words and talk. No, our love must be real. We must show our love by the things we do.” – 1 John 3:18 In doing that, you may be moving mountains for others in ways you may never see here in this lifetime. But these are the things that matter in eternity. So what are you doing with what you’ve been given? Are you keeping it all to yourself or are you sharing generously with others? (My reference here is to the Parable of the Talents – Matthew 25:14-30) Are you making a “profit” for the kingdom of heaven? If not, don’t you think it’s about time you start?
“But, I thought this was about getting encouragement!?”
It is. When you invest your time, your energy, your love, your wisdom into others (not for selfish gain), you can’t help but be encouraged.
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9
“Don’t do anything for selfish purposes, but with humility think of others as better than yourselves.” – Philippians 2:3
When you get to know some other older, wiser, godly women in your church family, consider asking one of them to mentor you. The format of a mentorship relationship can be as formal or informal as you like – you’re the one requesting it! But pray about it and make your requests clearly known, to God – He will provide one if you ask Him to, and to the person you choose to ask to enter into that mentor relationship with you. Do NOT be discouraged, however, if they say “No”. “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” – Romans 12:12 If, however, they say “Yes”, don’t be a drain! Ask for that encouragement but also seek to be an encouragement to them. Ask about their life, how you can be praying for them, etc. Encouragement is not and should never be a one-way street. The Bible is pretty clear on that.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.” – 2 Corinthians 13:11
“Therefore, encourage one another…” – 1 Thessalonians 4:18
“Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up…” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11
“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today’, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” – Hebrews 3:13
Finding A Place To Call Home 