The Miriam-Webster dictionary defines Encouragement in three ways:
- a. to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope
b. to attempt to persuade
- to spur on
- to give help or patronage to
When was the last time you felt encouraged? What brought about that feeling? Chances are, it was probably someone who said something positive or uplifting to you or did something for you simply out of the kindness of their heart. It’s a great feeling, isn’t it? To be encouraged. To have someone believe in us, cheer for us, help us, pray for us. Sometimes, the encouragement we receive can make us feel as though we’re on top of the world, as if we are capable of accomplishing any task, no matter how difficult it may be. But that’s because there’s power behind encouragement, isn’t there?
Why is that? How can someone’s words or actions impact our own in such a drastic way? I think it’s for the same reason that when another person speaks hurtful or unkind things about us or even to us, we cringe. It hurts!
We were made FOR community and to be IN community.
It’s simply a part of the divine creation and order of things. God made us to be a communal people. His design and intent was never that His children would walk alone in this world, to strive to be able to do things on our own, or to even have to do things on our own. You only have to look at Scripture to find truth to that.
So who encourages you? Who spurs you on “towards love and good deeds”? (Hebrews 10:24) Who encourages you and builds you up? (1 Thessalonians 5:11) If you don’t have somebody who can speak life into your life, what are you doing about it? Have you sought out a mentor or do you just sit miserably on your couch and “hope” someone will befriend and encourage you? That might sound harsh, but know that you aren’t alone. I was like you…for years.
“Where do I start?”, you might ask. Great question! My best suggestion is church. If you don’t have a home church, start by finding one. If you do have a home church, start by getting involved! And no, the excuse of: “I just don’t have time” doesn’t fly with me. You obviously have five minutes to sit and read this blog, so obviously you have five minutes you could spend helping out at church (granted…extenuating circumstances aside). It can be small! Maybe, for you, it looks like talking to the church secretary and asking how you can help with only five minutes of spare time – maybe that’s thinking of craft ideas for a Sunday School class, maybe it’s being an usher one Sunday morning and handing out bulletins before the service starts, maybe it’s offering to make an extra loaf of bread (or buy one while you’re already at the grocery store) for communion. Maybe you have more time and you can help with teaching a Sunday School class, leading a Bible study one night a week, or helping with the Kids Clubs at your church. When you do these things – when you “get involved”, you get to know other people on a deeper level than just your regular Sunday morning pew-warming neighbours. And let’s be honest – how well do you REALLY know the people who warm the pews around your specific, self-allotted section? Probably not that well. But getting involved opens up new opportunities to meet fellow believers who are just like you – people who love Jesus. The issue is – you can’t stop here.
Getting to know other people requires real work. It involves opening the doors of your home to others, practising hospitality (Romans 12:3), regardless of how big…or tiny your home is. Truly, the size of your home matters very little compared to the size of your heart – that, THAT is what people will see. THAT is what will attract others to you. So stop focusing on your own self-loathing and get out there! Do what you can with what you have, regardless of how little that may be. When you start to get to know people, you start to care for them, to love them – so show it by your actions. “My children, our love should not be only words and talk. No, our love must be real. We must show our love by the things we do.” – 1 John 3:18 In doing that, you may be moving mountains for others in ways you may never see here in this lifetime. But these are the things that matter in eternity. So what are you doing with what you’ve been given? Are you keeping it all to yourself or are you sharing generously with others? (My reference here is to the Parable of the Talents – Matthew 25:14-30) Are you making a “profit” for the kingdom of heaven? If not, don’t you think it’s about time you start?
“But, I thought this was about getting encouragement!?”
It is. When you invest your time, your energy, your love, your wisdom into others (not for selfish gain), you can’t help but be encouraged.
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9
“Don’t do anything for selfish purposes, but with humility think of others as better than yourselves.” – Philippians 2:3
When you get to know some other older, wiser, godly women in your church family, consider asking one of them to mentor you. The format of a mentorship relationship can be as formal or informal as you like – you’re the one requesting it! But pray about it and make your requests clearly known, to God – He will provide one if you ask Him to, and to the person you choose to ask to enter into that mentor relationship with you. Do NOT be discouraged, however, if they say “No”. “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” – Romans 12:12 If, however, they say “Yes”, don’t be a drain! Ask for that encouragement but also seek to be an encouragement to them. Ask about their life, how you can be praying for them, etc. Encouragement is not and should never be a one-way street. The Bible is pretty clear on that.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.” – 2 Corinthians 13:11
“Therefore, encourage one another…” – 1 Thessalonians 4:18
“Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up…” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11
“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today’, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” – Hebrews 3:13
Who do you need to go to and encourage right now?